Rep. Anthony Weiner Will Never Measure Up To This

All this talk about Anthony Weiner and his, well you know... has had me reminiscing about the good old days. Those days growing up in a little town east of Los Angeles. The biggest things going on in our little hamlet generally happened in the parking lot of In-n-Out Liquor at the corner of Glendora and Service Avenues. That was where my friends and I bought our half gallon jugs of Mother's Pride Root Beer, stole magazines, and watched the flames dance from the torches of the old Love's Wood Pit Barbecue. The center that housed our beloved liquor store was one of those classic strip malls of 60's that were so prevalent in the suburbs. I think there were maybe 8 small stores that were part of this little hub. There was a craft store where we bought all the models we used to put together with that incredibly dangerous glue, a beautician, [in those days they were not called salons] a laundromat that also housed the local Chinese Hand Laundry, and of course a Fotomat. For you young folks, Fotomat was where we took film from our Kodak Instamatics to be developed in just one day! And we had the Capri Theater. It was one of those big types of theaters that sat about 1000 people. I saw my first movie, Mary Poppins starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke, there. If you weren't playing baseball over at the park, the place to be on a Saturday afternoon was definitely at the Capri. I saw a ton of those great Disney classics there. But one day, in the parking lot, we all got to see something really special. Sometime around around noon, on a day long ago past, he rolled up, got out, and showed everybody who was there the biggest wiener we had ever seen! It was magical. The stuff of dreams. Must've been about 20 feet long. It was, of course, the Oscar Mayer Wiener Wagon. This is the only wiener I care to be seeing in public and much more interesting than any of that other junk that passes for exciting news in todays world.