Diaper Rash Changes Everything

Last night I was at bible study. Normally there are about 8 of us guys, all around 50 years old, and it’s a good time of fellowship and study. But last night there was a youngun among us. I mean to say one of those under 30 types, fresh faced, and a new dad to boot. When we got to the point where we talked about prayer requests, he had the line of the night… “Diaper rash changes everything!” We all about died laughing. Think of it as the “been there done that” laugh. That got me to thinking about how guys change when kids come into the family. Kids can reduce even the most hardened individual into a belly blowing, face making fool. But there is so much more. Men who would never think of playing with their food at the dinner table suddenly think that the best way to teach a kid to eat is to convince him that it is not really food, but a toy. And that you get to eat that toy. Think flying spoons here. Is it any wonder kids are confused when parents get mad at them for putting toys into their mouths? Men, who can hear the slightest difference in a car engine, or a new noise in the suspension, suddenly go deaf when the lights go out. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about here. It’s three in the morning, and young Mr. Dad is pretending that he can’t hear the blood curdling screams in the next room. To make it worse, when he wakes up, he’ll ask you when the baby got up, as if he wasn’t aware. Men, who can tell from outside the refrigerator that the milk in the carton is bad, tend to lose the ability to smell when kids are born. It’s amazing, but thank God it is only a temporary condition, as full recovery usually comes a few weeks after potty training is complete. But perhaps most of all, us guys seem to lose the ability to communicate with real words in a normal language. Between the goo goos, the gaas gaas, and the rest of a litany of made up words and sounds, we somehow think that kid of ours can understand us. It’s just too bad that for a lot of us, that ability to effectively communicate, unlike our senses of hearing and smell, never seems to return to normal after kids. Yep, diaper rash changes everything!