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Location: Las Vegas, Nevada

I am a self proclaimed coffee addict and Executive Director of a non profit missions agency working primarily in the Mexican cities of Oaxaca, Guadalajara, and Ensenada. I've been married for over 30 years to Chelle, and we have one grown son, Joseph, a graduate of Auburn University in Alabama.

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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Diaper Rash Changes Everything

Last night I was at bible study. Normally there are about 8 of us guys, all around 50 years old, and it’s a good time of fellowship and study.

But last night there was a youngun among us.

I mean to say one of those under 30 types, fresh faced, and a new dad to boot.

When we got to the point where we talked about prayer requests, he had the line of the night… “Diaper rash changes everything!” We all about died laughing. Think of it as the “been there done that” laugh.

That got me to thinking about how guys change when kids come into the family.

Kids can reduce even the most hardened individual into a belly blowing, face making fool. But there is so much more.

Men who would never think of playing with their food at the dinner table suddenly think that the best way to teach a kid to eat is to convince him that it is not really food, but a toy. And that you get to eat that toy. Think flying spoons here.

Is it any wonder kids are confused when parents get mad at them for putting toys into their mouths?

Men, who can hear the slightest difference in a car engine, or a new noise in the suspension, suddenly go deaf when the lights go out. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about here.

It’s three in the morning, and young Mr. Dad is pretending that he can’t hear the blood curdling screams in the next room. To make it worse, when he wakes up, he’ll ask you when the baby got up, as if he wasn’t aware.

Men, who can tell from outside the refrigerator that the milk in the carton is bad, tend to lose the ability to smell when kids are born. It’s amazing, but thank God it is only a temporary condition, as full recovery usually comes a few weeks after potty training is complete.

But perhaps most of all, us guys seem to lose the ability to communicate with real words in a normal language. Between the goo goos, the gaas gaas, and the rest of a litany of made up words and sounds, we somehow think that kid of ours can understand us.

It’s just too bad that for a lot of us, that ability to effectively communicate, unlike our senses of hearing and smell, never seems to return to normal after kids.

Yep, diaper rash changes everything!

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Comments on "Diaper Rash Changes Everything"


Blogger BB-Idaho said ... (10:51 AM) : 

Yep, hard on us guys. It takes years to get over
'diaper rash changes everything'...then you become a Grandpa!


Blogger Dave Miller said ... (12:30 PM) : 

and then you can laugh... or so i've heard...


Blogger dmarks said ... (2:48 AM) : 

haha. good post.


Blogger rockync said ... (7:37 AM) : 

This post brought back a memory that has me smiling ear to ear.
My Dad is the stoic Old World European type. He never played with us when we were kids or joked around or even spoke much.
But grandchildren change everything...
I gave birth to his first grandson. Dad would come every Saturday to visit and bring me a grocery bag full of cold cuts and rolls from the German deli.
When his grandson could walk, Dad would take him to the corner convenience store and buy him treats.
One blustery fall day they walked up to the store and I sat at the window watching them return.
Dad blew up a balloon(he had bought a bag of them) and handed it to my son who promptly let it go. I watched as my Dad chased the balloon being buffeted down the road by the breeze and my son laughed and then they did it again and again.
It is one of my most precious meemories.


Blogger Dave Miller said ... (9:37 AM) : 

great story rocky... hold on to that tighter your son did his balloon...


Blogger Z said ... (4:32 PM) : 

Loved your post and loved rockync's story...how touching.
Children are SO precious and surely do change our world. THanks, Dave!


Blogger Dave Miller said ... (10:10 AM) : 

My pleasure Z...


Blogger Shaw Kenawe said ... (4:26 PM) : 

Great post, Dave. Great stories.



Anonymous Anonymous said ... (10:06 AM) : 

Hey Dave, I have one question for you.
You sound like a pretty nice guy, how come you hang around with all these stupid liberal morons?


Blogger Dave Miller said ... (7:16 PM) : 

Anonymous, because they choose to not hide their identity...

And they are respectful, not resorting to calling people names on my blog...


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