Small, Medium, or Large?

Call it age. There are some things that just seem to tick me off. Things like a restaurant selling a Caesar Salad with iceberg lettuce instead of romaine. Low fat donuts are another. Does anyone eat those things? I mean, if you are going to kill yourself with a donut, why not go for the gusto and get the real thing? A few years back a friend and I had an obsession for apple fritters. They cost about a buck and I think they weighed about 2 pounds each. I cannot imagine a low calorie apple fritter. What’s the point? Anyways, yesterday I went into Coffee Bean & Tea to get an Iced Latte. I was not real thirsty and only had a short time to devote to enjoying my drink so I ordered a small. Well guess what, they don’t have small. Only regular and large. What’s up with that? By definition wasn’t the regular small? I am not sure you have noticed, but somewhere the Madison Avenue types have decided that it is not profitable to sell drinks in small, medium, and large sizes. I went into a Burger King Drive-thru one day and ordered a medium Coke. The girl said they only had Regular, Large, and Extra Large. When did medium become extinct? I wasn't even aware it was on the endangered species list! And when did the smallest size change to a regular? Can you imagine the havoc if we were to apply this type of thinking to the rest of our daily lives? I am sorry sir, we have no small cars for sale, only regular cars. Are small cars irregular? Or I go into Target to buy a medium T-shirt and find out I now wear a large, but I'm the same size I used to be. What about the guy who used to buy extra large. Does he now have to buy humongous? What about asking for a small piece of cake at a party? Do you not get any because the hostess is only serving regular size slices? Some days it just seems as if there are a bunch of smarty pants people somewhere trying to think up ways to confuse a lot of us regular folks who are just trying to make it through the day. When I order a medium soda, I want the one in the middle. And when I order small, I want the smallest one you have. I don’t care what you call them. It is not rocket science.